


Sunday Dinner

by americanchemicals



Series: Wings [2]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Supernatural
Genre: Angel Shane Madej, Crack, Dysfunctional Family, Established Relationship, Family Dinners, M/M, Meet the Family, Other, Protective Shane Madej
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 03:02:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12974430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanchemicals/pseuds/americanchemicals
Summary: "Are you really sure you want to meet my family? I was serious when I said that someone will probably end up getting stabbed with a fork in the end."-Aka Ryan meets Shane's angel family





	Sunday Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> there's no plot to this it's literally just crack dialogue

"Are you really sure you want to meet my family? I was serious when I said that someone will probably end up getting stabbed with a fork in the end."

"Shane, if you didn't want me to meet them then why did you ask me?" Ryan laughed, picking up on that Shane was nervous. 

"Well, you can't just introduce me to your entire family without expecting me to not invite you to meet mine. I love my family, I really do, we're just a little..." Shane trailed off, unable to come up with the right words.

"Dysfunctional?" Ryan suggested.

"Yeah," Shane nodded, "one could say that."

-

"Is this whole flying thing going to make me nauseous?" Ryan asked nervously as he took Shane's hand.

"I mean, it'll be instantaneous, but I once heard that a human didn't poop for a week after flying," Shane replying, smiling as his human's eyes got wide.

"Fantastic, I'm going to die." But the second that Ryan finished his sentence, they were no longer sitting on the couch in their apartment, instead in a giant room that almost reminded him of the Great Hall in Harry Potter. There were a ton of long ass tables, and then what seemed like a hundred people moving around and talking to each other. 

"Welcome to heaven," Shane muttered, more to himself than to his boyfriend, and guided him further into the room. Thankfully, Ryan didn't feel sick from the flight, but he was also secretly hoping that he'd be able to poop later. Looking around, nothing seemed too overly heavenly. It kinda looked like the inside of a church with the bright light that poured through the stained glass windows, but there weren't any crosses hanging or statues of dead people. 

"Sachael!" A familiar voice shouted, and Ryan's attention snapped to the only other angel he had ever met. Well, now he was in a room full of them. Was there protocol you were supposed to follow when surrounded by this many angels? What happened if Ryan, sinned, or something like that? Would someone chuck holy water at his head?

How did Shane feel when Ryan sinned around him? How often had he sinned around him? What did Shane even count as sins? Did he know when Ryan lied to him?

"Don't drink the wine." Afriel's voice snapped Ryan out of his thoughts, as the young angel was suddenly in front of him.

"Seriously? Can we go one dinner without one of your pranks?" Shane complained, but he didn't sound all that irritated.

"What did you do to the wine?" Ryan asked curiously. Another figure appeared behind Afriel, his face full of disappointment as he casually wrapped an arm around the angel's waist.

"He replaced it all with sheep's blood," the new guy explained, and he didn't sound the least bit amused.

"How many sheep did you have to kill to do that?" Ryan asked incredulously.

"Hey, I don't believe in animal cruelty. It's all synthetic. It just tastes like sheep's blood, which is nasty fyi, unless you're Edward fucking... What's his last name?" Afriel turned to the person he was with, who just raised his eyebrows in response.

"I'm Ethan, by the way, it's nice to have another human here," he said, dropping his arm from around Afriel's waist to shake Ryan's hand.

"You're human?" Ethan nodded in response, until a loud voice boomed through the room, causing everyone to fall silent.

"Afriel!" 

"Yeah, dad?" the teen responded, tone quite casual even though the man that yelled sounded  _very_ angry. 

"Dad? Does he mean God?" Ryan whispered to Shane, who nodded like it was no big deal.

The man that had yelled, apparently God, walked to where they were standing, and people parted like the Red Sea. Ryan felt the anxiety bubble up inside him as the man got closer, even though he looked like any other average person you could come across on the street.

"Did you do something to the wine?"

"Um, actually, I'm too young to drink," Afriel sassed, and Ethan facepalmed.

"C'mon dad, give the kid a break, it was a harmless joke," a voice from the crowd called out.

"Not now, Gabriel," God rubbed his temples, and Ryan felt for the dude. He had a lot of kids to keep track of. Wait, was God considered a single parent?

"Ryan Bergara, it's nice to finally meet you. Sachael literally won't shut up about you," God turned to him, and he thought he was going to pass out.

"It's um... Nice to meet you too, sir." Should he bow? Salute? Shane had not prepared him for this at all.

"Please, call me Chuck." ~~God~~ Chuck smiled, before glaring at Afriel (who gave a shit-eating grin in response) before walking away. Almost immediately, the room flooded with conversation again.

"One of these days he's going to lock you in one of the prison cells and leave you there for a century," Shane teased to the teen.

"I couldn't get that lucky," Ethan sighed, and Afriel feigned hurt.

"So, are you two dating?" Ryan pointed between the two.

"Sadly," Ethan replied.

"Why are you so mean to me?"

"You would be mean to you too if you had to put up with you all day."

"And, that's our cue to find someone else to have a conversation with," Shane said to him quietly, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and guiding him away from the bickering couple.

The following hour felt like an eternity, with Shane introducing him to all his brothers and sisters. Ryan was seriously going to get all the names right. Some of them, in his defense, also had some pretty wacky names. Some were easy, like Ariel or Samandriel, but there were some names like Kaeylerae and Shushienae that rolled off of Shane's tongue effortlessly, but Ryan knew if he tried to repeat them the pronunciation would be more than botched. 

Eventually, everyone began to seat themselves, and Shane guided him to the front of the room. 

"It's assigned seating," the angel explained, sitting on his right. At the head of the table, literally right next to Shane, was Chuck. Across from them was Afriel, who was sat between Ethan and Chuck. He raised an eyebrow in question at his boyfriend, who chuckled.

"I'm the angel of tranquility. Afriel here is a riot, which means that I have to sit next to him to make sure he doesn't blow this whole place up."

"Again," Chuck added, shaking his head. 

"Again," Shane agreed.

"Listen, if Gabriel here hadn't been a piece of shit," Afriel started, gesturing to an angel that was on Ethan's other side, "none of that would've gone down."

"From what I recall, you were overreacting," Gabriel defended, reaching over and grabbing a bread roll from a basket in the center of the table. 

"You did flirt with his boyfriend," an angel across from Gabriel pointed out. 

"He's attractive, I couldn't help it! Speaking of attractive," Gabriel turned his attention to Ryan.

"Don't you dare," Shane growled, and Chuck rolled his eyes, scooping some vegetables onto his plate. 

"So Ryan, how's the sex? Because if my little bro here is disappointing-"

"You see? I had no choice but to set the table cloth on fire," Afriel cut in. Meanwhile, Ryan's face was bright red, not wanting to talk about sex in front of God and a bunch of angels.

"I'll cut your dick off right here and feed it to the hellhounds," Shane warned, picking up a steak knife and pointing it at Gabriel. 

"Ryan, make sure to try the mashed potatoes, they're amazing," Ethan said, unaffected by the conversation around him. 

"Is it always like this?" he asked the other human, while Shane argued with Gabe and Chuck asked Afriel to pass the salt. 

"You'll get used to it. Worse things have happened."

"Like what?" Ryan was almost afraid to ask.

"Cassiel almost stabbed Uriel with his angel blade. That kills them, you know? The angel blades are the only thing that can hurt them," Ethan explained nonchalantly, applying butter to a roll he had stolen from Afriel's plate when he hadn't been looking. Down the table, there was the sound of dishes breaking, glass hitting the floor.

"In my defense," the angel across from Gabriel said, "he had threatened to kill my boyfriend."

"Jesus," Ryan said, before clamping a hand over his mouth to look over at Chuck, who merely shrugged at him.

"Afriel has said much worse, trust me," Chuck offered, before taking a bite of chicken.

"Speaking of me, I'm curious, is the dick good, Ryan?" the teen questioned, taking the roll (that Ethan had originally stolen from him) out of his boyfriend's hand and taking a bite out of it.

Ryan, who had been sipping on some water, began to choke a little, which gained Shane's attention.

"What are we talking about?" he asked, giving Ryan a few pats on the back while he continued to hack. 

"Sachael, tell us, is the ass good?" Ethan joked, and Ryan knew he couldn't trust the other human. No one could be that chill and be dating Afriel at the same time.

"Why is everyone assuming that I'm the bottom?" Ryan threw his hands up in the hair, slightly offended.

"You seem the type," Chuck commented from where he was sat, not even looking up from his plate.

-

"You were right," Ryan told his boyfriend when they were finally back home, "I really didn't want to meet your family."

"But aren't they great?" Shane smiled teasingly.

"My dad didn't ask you about our sex life, that's all I'm saying." 

"You ready to do it all over again next week? Sunday dinner is kind of a tradition."

"Only because I love you," Ryan admitted, earning a smile and a kiss in response. 

 


End file.
